So, some people have asked me, why I do my FX work...and what pushes me to do it. I plan to explain what pushes me. But first I have to tell you a bit about my past, and tell you about the things that make me who I am today...

When I was 5-16years old, I was teased horribly in school. It was so bad, that when I was younger, I would dread going to school, school was the enemy, it meant fear & crying to me. And the teasing got worse when I went into Jr. High. And died off in High School.

My peers were so cruel to me, they would tease me about everything, and anything. And they ruined my life, my schooling experience was replaced with kids throwing rocks at me, and chasing me home, they would even follow me home so they knew where I lived, sit infront of my house and yell things at me. I never understood why they treated me this way, and I think that it's something I will never know. And it's not about kids being kids, it's about no one ever stepping in & stopping it. The school did nothing & the parents did nothing. I was all alone. I had no friends.

Ever since I was like 1-2years old, I have been obsessed with Horror movies, the classics and the movies that were coming out when I was young. And the classics comforted me, Frankenstein, he was a torted soul, he just wanted to be loved. And he wanted to be accepted, but how he looked, no one would ever love or accept him the way he wanted. And they looked at him as if he were a monster, but in all reality, the people who treated him like a monster, were the real monsters. Freddy became my friend, all the villians, the crazy killers, were my friends. I knew that whatever I looked like they would be there at the end of the day, when I spent my day at school crying in the bathroom, because the popular girls pushed me in the mudd, when I got home, they would be there, to comfort me, and to tell me things will be alright. And so, horror movies, became my comfort, they were always there for me. They made me see, it was okay to be different, that it doesn't matter what anyone says, they made me happy.

And so, I grew up watching their movies, falling inlove with their stories, knowing that they were different. That I was different. While other little girls wanted their prince charming to come, I wanted my frankenstein to come, I wanted my monster to come, because he would understand me & accept me better then any old prince charming. When other kids were listening to The Backstreet boys & Britany Spears, I was listening to The Misfits, Type O Negative & Danzig. I hid who I really was in school, because I still wanted to be accepted by my peers, but when I came home, I watched The X-Files & Freddy and listened to Type O Negative, and I felt better. They saved me from my life.

Wes Craven, Stephen King, to name a few. They were the people who made & created, who were into the same stuff I was into. And they were weird, but they were being themselves, showing their interests, passions to the world, and yet they were going some where with how 'weird' they were. They weren't afraid of what people would think. They knew what they liked & they were passionate about it. And thanks to them, I found my passion.

My FX make-up is my therapy.
When things are bad in my life, when my heart hurts, I use it to express myself. Because in my eyes, the blood, the gore, are beautiful. Watching a horror movie to me, is like watching a 'love story' lol It gives me that warm, fuzzy, happy feeling.

And thats how I feel when I do my FX make-up,
I feel revived. When I sit and do it, I fall into my own world, and everything that is causing me pain, falls away. And it's just me and the make-up.

Horror, the strange, the weird, the misfits, the outcasts, the teased, the tormented, they were always there for me, in my darkest hours as a child, and in my darkest hours as an adult, they are there for me. To tell me I am weird, but thats okay.

So being teased as a child, to growing up with that fear, with that pain, has fueled me for years, has fueled my fire, to my art, to my make-up.

I am happy that I went through so much heartache as a child, because it makes me a very aware adult, that theres so much hurt & pain in this life, but thats life, and you can allow all your hurt & pain to sit inside you to rot, or you can plant it into your passions, and watch it grow into something that makes you happy, that shows the world your talents. That shows the world what your made of.

And thats what I am doing with my FX make-up...
I am showing everyone, what I am made of.
And I am not afraid of anything anymore.
Judgements, and comments that are meant to hurt-
Will not hurt me. Because I know what pain
Really is. And I will not allow such petty comments
To hurt me again. Their not worth it.

Because in this world,
If you don't have a strong passion, and a drive
That can actually move you, you got nothing.

And I atleast have that going for me
So, even though I am going through something hard right now,
It will not break me.

Because..
"Whatever doesn't kill you, can only make you stronger!"



Any questions? Ask away!