Hello my lovelies,
I really don't know how to start this journal off, so I will just dive into it. I have been absent from here for so many reasons. And those who were close to me understand the most, how the last 4 yrs were a whirlwind of chaos and death. It has changed me as a person and things that used to be a big thing in my life, an example, this site and the people that frequent it. I am not going to continue to update on this platform any longer. The 11 yrs I happily spent on here, within the rich, beautiful community that has turned into something completely different, has served me extremely well on my artistic journey. This site shaped me as an artist and I will forever be grateful. I would not be the artist I am today if it wasn't for the years I spent on this site, learning from others I looked up to, growing from my old likes into new ones. I did it all here, on dA. DeviantART will forever hold such a high place of beauty and love in my heart. But with saying that, I cannot see myself submitting here any longer. It feels unnatural. But I believe I grew out of the routine shortly before my father got sick, because my time was cut short due to him needing me, and my mother needing me for him because he straight up refused Hospice care. Taking care of my sick and dying father was extremely hard, I still have nightmares, 2 yrs later. The PTSD is strong, and getting a full time job last year has helped immensely. I work between 50-70 hours a week, yes, a week, depending on the busyness of the week. It's insane but I am loving my job and make really good money. But it leaves me with little to no social life. And then to top it off, I've been living with toxic family for a long time. I am working on moving out and gaining my own peace of mind, that I am simply unable to find at home. So life simply swept me up and IS MORE IMPORTANT then a website. You may wonder why I capitalized that bit. And that is because I have received straight bullying on here due to my absence. And I find it downright disgusting. Several assholes from my groups felt the need to message me through my groups and through my main profile shaming me, the first was shortly after my father had died!! By the time I deleted all 4 of my groups that I had for 7+ yrs, I had about 30 people with obviously nothing better to do then to shame someone who actually had a lot of real and hard life events occurring. It was appalling that the site I used to love, had turned into this elitist bullshit where other artists deemed it a-okay to bully another artist because she happened to let her groups go. Like fuck off, life is more important. So sadly, the sour of this site impacted me during my most darkest years. But we all must move on and do what is right for us. And I'm not right for dA anymore.
With saying all this, I will NOT be deleting my profile nor any of my gallery. All of the support I have ever received means so much to me. So I cannot delete any of it due to sentimental reasons. And also, because I have put so much work into my gallery and profile over the years, I spent a decade on here, it holds so much more then most people would understand. I think that is why a lot of people leave but they keep their profile and gallery intact. Just because we don't enjoy the site anymore, doesn't others cannot continue to enjoy my work anymore either. I still get a lot of favorites, watches and comments. I appreciate every favorite, look at the gallery of every person that watches me and I read every comment. I may still reply to them in the future, but otherwise I will just haunting the site. No activity anymore. This will be my last journal. Because I felt like you all that have followed me for long deserve an answer, a last word. Instead of the silence these last few years have held. For which, I am sorry. You will all forever mean something to me, I appreciate you all being there for me and my artwork through out all these years!! I love you from the bottom of my heart, I know the ones that matter will understand <3
I am on Instagram, you can find me there with my Photography and my artwork, different profiles you can follow separately. They are listed within my bio. Easy as pie, like if you want to
<3
GrotesqueDarling13 aka Sheri